I Want to be Like Tohru Honda

Recently I reread all of the series Fruits Basket, and it made me realize a few things.

First, I'm an emotional weepy mess of tears and shouldn't read it in public, and second, we have a lot to learn from Tohru and how she treats people.

Her life has not been easy. She lost her dad when she was young, and talks like him (very formal and polite) as not to lose his memory, and to keep her mom in high spirits. She loses her mom while she's about to start high school, and it shapes the entire story.

Still, despite her grief, she faces the day with a smile and works harder than everyone to make sure her friends are smiling. When she cries it's for other people, and never for herself.

She gives 110% to make sure everyone is happy, even if she works herself sick.

The story is a lot deeper than that, but I want everyone to enjoy the story fully for what it is, and I encourage everyone to read it. 

There's a subtlety in how Takaya ages the characters, and it's beautifully drawn. Watching all of the characters grow and evolve together was one of the greatest treats of the entire series.

We can learn a lot from people like Tohru Honda, who takes adversity and shows it what's what, facing it with a smile and hard work.

Who doesn't want to be like that?

I know I have a lot of work to do to get there.

Let's help each other.

How I Met My Nerdy Girlfriend

Hey friends!

In case you were ever wondering my origin story with my girlfriend Molly, I'm going to tell you.

In March 2012 I went to the Legend of Zelda Symphony of the Goddesses with a couple of friends and during the intermission we heard Groose's Theme. While wandering about the Orpheum Theatre, I looked down into the foyer and saw a blond girl wearing a green dress with a Triforce on it, and she was holding a Groose doll. This was significant, as I'd just been introduced to the "Groose's Theme Goes With Everything" meme, which has quite a few to choose from. (Also, unrelated, but the best Groose video ever)

Later on while browsing the Skyward Sword tag on Tumblr, I saw the same girl posting progress pictures of her Groose cosplay. 

She posted that she'd be going to SakuraCon 2012 to sell her artwork, and I was going with my friends, so off I went! 

While dressed as Saria from Ocarina of Time, I met Molly while she was dressed as Groose. 

She had a towel in her pants for appropriate bulge, she tells me later.

With my friend Tyler as Link at my side, he held my arm while I managed to get Molly's phone number... Turns out she lived nearby! :D

We hung out all summer and it was glorious. 

Then she went away to Japan and New Zealand for three months and I pined the entire time. ;_;

When she came back we casually discussed possibly maybe dating each other because hey, we kinda liked each other a lot. We decided to give it a go. :D 

On March 17th, 2013, I gave her tickets to the Symphony of the Goddesses concert that would be playing in September. March 17th was the one year anniversary of the first time I ever saw her.

Now we're the couple that posts crap like this on each others' Facebook walls on Valentine's Day.

We've been together since February 2013, and next week we're moving for the third time into a new place together. We're hoping for the best for this place and are very excited about it, and I'm so glad we have each other to lean on during the nonsense of moving. 

ANYWAY that's our geeky story. <3

Work Woes

First of all, why is any default font Times New Roman?

Gross.

Secondly, I'm allowed to talk about it now, so let me explain why the last couple of months have been some of the most trying for me thus far.

Until the end of February I was working for a local fire protection company as an admin assistant/receptionist.

It's a small office, six ladies in total including myself, and things are said often in a small group of women that probably shouldn't be said. Racist jokes. Sexist jokes. Homophobic jokes. 

See, when I started there, I was told that the ladies were very open and quite vulgar, which I expected. Office ladies and the occasional technician, curses ran free.

I did my job quietly for almost a year, and the ladies were well aware of my home situation, that is - That I am in a stable monogamous relationship with another woman. We've been together for over two years, we don't have any drama.

I think that may have been the problem.

I don't talk about what happens at home with my coworkers because A) it's not their business, and B) it's still not their business.

I mean, you have to be level ten to unlock my tragic backstory, right?

I wish I could tell you that it wasn't my boss who made the homophobic jokes, but it was. 

One afternoon while I was wearing a dress (because what you're wearing clearly matters, kids) I offered to replace the big water canister on top of the cooler because my other coworker couldn't do it because she's pregnant.

Boss told me not to worry, that we could get one of the guys to do it later. I'm the office help, it's no trouble for me to do it. I'm not so weak that the water would take me down.

I said, with a joking tone, that we 'don't need a man to do it' and my boss told me to "stop being such a lesbian about it".

Let me clarify, because context is, though irrelevant, important for the story I guess. I'm pansexual. Women, men, everything in between, floats my boat. I love people of all kinds, and I'm not held back by gender when it comes to attraction.

That shouldn't affect how people treat me in the workplace.

Because I was so busy being blown away that she'd say such a thing, I let it slide. Replaced the water. The day carried on.

A little while later I heard rumor from a loyal coworker that I was going to be fired, that they were looking for my replacement. Why, is anyone's guess. I worked diligently and quietly. I asked appropriate questions, I was respectful, I got things done with efficiency. Really, I'm the dream admin assistant. I often wonder if it's because I did everything without drama that I was replaced. In a tiny office that thrives off of dramatic news, perhaps my 'boring' nature needed to be replaced. 

So, I did what anyone in my situation would do. I updated my resume, sent out feelers for new jobs, got a weekend reception job at a local hair salon where I'm still working. My new boss is gay, and one of my favorite people in the whole world. No issues with discrimination there. :D 

After two of the most stressful weeks of waiting, the day finally came when I was told that 'today is your last day', and that they were sorry but there wasn't much work they could give me anymore. True, because I worked quickly, and business was slow. There wasn't a lot they could give me to do.

Keep in mind that a job posting had called for a new admin assistant for this workplace and Boss and Accountant had been going out to interview people while we were all running the office. Searching for my replacement.

I packed up my desk, hugged my two coworkers who I actually had grown close to, and left that Thursday afternoon.

Friday morning I received a text about the new girl who had replaced me.

One of the coworkers texts me that Boss announces to the office after New Girl had filled out paperwork and left the office, "Don't worry girls, this one's not a lesbian."

Excuse me?!

Livid and sick with...I don't even know, righteous fury? I consulted with my girlfriend, my parents, the human rights tribunal of BC and a couple of close friends who'd been in similar discrimination situations and I was advised to open a complaint against Boss.

It was a long, complicated and arduous process. I was told by Loyal Coworker that Boss was freaking out when she got served with the notice of complaint. The fact that it had brought her so many emotions gave me joy. If I didn't stand up to her, who would?

Apparently the girl before me had been bisexual, and she'd been 'let go' too.

I was contacted by both Loyal Coworkers with words of praise, proud of me for standing up to Boss.

I was then told that they wouldn't stand up for me if the matter was taken to court.

Skip forward to a few weeks later, to about a week ago.

I contact my case manager who tells me that I have to provide evidence. The only evidence I have is from the word of my coworkers who were present for the 'stop being such a lesbian' comment, and text messages from Loyal Coworker who called, begging to know if I'd named her officially in the complaint against Boss.

No, of course I hadn't. I'm not a snitch.

Besides, why is job security suddenly more important than right versus wrong? Basic human rights? What happened to you being proud of me for standing up for myself?

And so I am faced with no one to back me up in court. Of my coworkers who told me they were proud of me for standing up to her, none of them will stand up for me.

Fighting a losing battle against a company, and a Boss who lost the little respect I had for her in the first place, I decided to drop my case.

I'm horrendously disappointed in my coworkers, and in this entire situation.

The only thing I can gain from this is the knowledge that those of you who knew about the situation while it was happening helped hold me up and kept me from despair and I thank each one of you eternally. You know who you are.

Molly has been my rock through this entire ordeal.

At the beginning of my fight when I was losing hope, she looked me in the face and asked me, "Honey. What would Anders do?" That may seem a little far-fetched to some of you, but it's been what I've clung to this entire time.

Anders fought. He didn't give up. Sure, I might have, but I shook the foundations and maybe now Boss will think twice before she opens her mouth.

One sentence horror stories:

Basement suite for rent, no laundry.

I thought I didn't ask for much, but apparently I do.

I just want some quality gay and lesbian movies that a) don't end in tragedy, or b) are trashy sex movies.

Really? Those are my only options. There are no in betweens!!

ENOUGH

Do I have to write this myself? I may have to. 

Goodnight.

If you have any suggestions, let me know.

*whispers* Dear Japan, please stop teaching your women that they are ‘impure’ for wanting to hold hands with their boyfriends.

Don’t get me wrong, I absolutely adore “My Love Story/Ore Monogatari”, a new anime that’s come out in the last month. It’s not your typical story, with a young pretty girl falling for the big gorilla type character Takeo.

But in one of the newest episodes, Yamato expresses that she is not as ‘good’ as Takeo thought she was, saying she was impure for wanting to ‘hold hands and snuggle and stuff.’

Are we just super free with our affections here in North America? Is this a culture thing? How is it ‘impure’ to hold hands with someone you’re dating?

Please, if you have some info for me, let me know in the comments. I’m very interested.

In the meantime I will definitely continue to watch My Love Story because it makes my girlfriend and I squeal with joy at how cute it is.

Until next time...

We Need to Talk About Love Stage

Disclaimer: I talk about rape here, so if you're triggered by it, it might be a good idea to skip this post. Sorry!

This is a touchy subject.

I don't know why I'm writing it so soon when I said this would be a video game blog but this just doesn't sit well with me.

I just finished an anime called Love Stage! this afternoon and to be honest, I'm surprised I did. The general themes pulled me in because let's face it - I love boy love. I adore it.

It's my thing.

I have a paid account on Crunchyroll and I know that the boylove available to me isn't a very big list. People awhile ago started telling me about Love Stage, so I thought I'd check it out.

I watched the first one, and it was very sweet. 

These two cuties are Ryouma (left) and Izumi (right), the stars of the show. When they were kids they were cast in a tv wedding commercial and then didn't see each other after that for ten years. During those ten years, Ryouma has been pining something serious for Izumi, thinking he was a girl because young Izumi played one, and it wasn't exactly necessary to discuss the sex of the children, also there's the whole lack of masculine/feminine pronouns in Japanese language, so it was unnecessary. 

Ten years later and Ryouma is a TV star, well known, etc, etc. Izumi is an eighteen year old otaku student who spends his free time at the manga club and working on his own manga because he dreams of one day becoming a great manga artist like the artist of his favorite series.

The wedding company who Ryouma and Izumi did a commercial for wants to do a follow up commercial for the ten year anniversary, but only on the condition that they get the same actors who played the kids from back then because now it's 'their happy wedding'. 

Ryouma's in, obviously, and Izumi reluctantly agrees, not realizing what he's getting himself into.

They shoot the commercial, Ryouma doesn't know Izumi's male, finds out a little later and has a crisis. Also, calls Izumi a 'cross-dressing freak'. Hmm.


It takes Ryouma a few days to calm down, and then before we know it, he's at Izumi's house to 'once and for all' get it out of his head that he's in love with Izumi because he can't love a boy, why would he love a boy? He demands that Izumi take off his clothes to 'prove' he's a boy, and then forces himself on Izumi.

You know what Izumi does? He cries. He cries and says 'stop' and 'no'. You know what happens? Ryouma KEEPS GOING.

Hi friends, let's talk about rape culture. Let's talk about consent.

Oh wait, let's not because we don't do that, this is anime where consent doesn't matter because they're animated? That's not how the real world works, people. Consent matters no matter where you are, in video games, in anime, in REAL LIFE because people need to be shown that this is how it's supposed to be. Anything other than an enthusiastic yes is rape, is unwanted. 

Anime needs to stop perpetuating the idea that because he's weepy and submissive looking means that he's just shy, but he still wants it. NO.

NO NO NO

Let me tell you what happens next. 

Izumi's amazing older brother happens to be in the right place at the right time and pushes Ryouma off of him, threatening him. 

Shougo is gayer than Christmas. He's a pop star idol, has loads of fans, and is super protective of his little brother because 'he's just so cute!' Shougo is a light in the darkness. He cares about Izumi, who his friends are, if they're good to him.

He knows Ryouma is up to no good. He tells Ryouma to get lost.




Ryouma leaves, Izumi stays in bed for two days, ashamed, crying, victimized. He convinces himself not to talk about it because it's not a big deal. 





In one of the only redeeming scenes of this entire show, Ryouma pursues Izumi if only to apologize for his horrible behavior. He then publicly bows low on the ground, his face in the dirt, as he asks for forgiveness for his actions.

Izumi reluctantly forgives him, and then they shake hands and agree to be friends. 

Ryouma turns a new leaf and starts behaving like a better person. He helps Izumi with his manga project, texts him casual things, friendly things. Izumi starts to trust him again, and it's genuinely good. I am pleased. 

Then Izumi gets some bad news and goes crying to Ryouma for comfort. Ryouma tells him to take a bath, and then makes him some food and washes his clothes for him and leaves him some pajamas to change into when Izumi decides he need to stay at Ryouma's place for a few days to cool down.

In what I can only describe as garbage, Ryouma pushes Izumi down onto the bed and demands that Izumi tell him how he feels because if he's gonna stay over for a few days, Ryouma can't be expected to behave himself for that long without touching him.


I raised my hopes for nothing.

Izumi concedes defeat, claiming "Fine. Do whatever you want to me. I don't care anymore."

His eyes are dead. His voice is monotone. 

If Ryouma cared about this kid at all he'd pay attention to this and not think with his dick, but NO. He carries on doing whatever he wants, and is like...stripping Izumi down when he finally realizes Izumi is crying again.

Again with consent. If Ryouma cared about consent at all, he'd stop and be like "Woah, hey this isn't you."

Shougo isn't there to save Izumi that time. It's all on Ryouma. Thankfully he stops himself.

More apologies, Izumi kind of...hermits himself away for awhile, wondering about if he's really attracted to Ryouma, and what he should do about it. He even asks his manager, Rei, for advice.

Spoiler alert: Rei is sort of involved with Shougo, which is THE ONLY THING I'M 10000000% OKAY WITH.

 Rei gives Izumi some sound advice, knowing that the kid's curious, and lets him figure the rest out for himself.

Huge plot points later (not really, it's a 10 episode series) and Izumi finds himself in an alleyway, accosted by three men who have him trapped. All three of them have threatened him with some form of sexual assault. When he resists, they find it 'cute' and it makes them want him more (?????). 

Izumi finds himself thinking about Ryouma during this scenario, and gains the strength to fight off his attackers and manages to escape Rape Attempt #3. 

His reasoning? The only man he wants touching him is Ryouma.

So he runs to Ryouma, throws himself into Ryouma's arms and demands that they 'do it'. 

He realizes after they have sex (because they do, and it appears they weren't even properly prepared for it because hey, classic gags on how much pain Izumi is in later lawl) that he didn't even confess back to Ryouma, he'd just greeted him with "I want you", and Ryouma ran with it.

So they exchange their I love you's and what have you, which you know, would be nice. If Izumi hadn't just been assaulted in an alleyway.

That's it, that's the show.

To be honest, all I want out of a boy love anime is something simple. Boy meets boy. Boy falls in love with boy. They pursue each other. They kiss. They build up to the relationship. 

You know what anime gives me? A pushy, aggressive rapefest that I'm not in any way okay with. 

As explained on the Wikipedia Yaoi article, "Rape scenes in yaoi are rarely presented as crimes with an assaulter and a victim: scenes where a seme rapes an uke are not depicted as symptomatic of the seme's "disruptive sexual/violent desires", but instead are a signifier of the "uncontrollable love" felt by a seme for an uke." 

I watched all of Love Stage! hoping it would get better, hoping that Izumi (while he did tell Ryouma to get lost after the first incident) would tell Ryouma to either leave him alone, or to slow down, or to respect him, though to be fair no one should ever have to demand to be respected.

It should be common courtesy.

Love Stage! was a disaster when I wanted so much more from it. I'm told I have too much faith in anime. I suppose the people who tell me so are right.

Let's look at some examples of mainstream boylove.

• Gravitation
• Junjou Romantica ("Did we have sex last night? I don't remember.")
• Sekaiichi Hatsukoi
• Loveless (Also known as 'let's pretend Ritsuka isn't twelve years old')
• Drammatical Murder (Don't get me started)

These exhaust me. I've seen/watched/read them all, and the only one that I was remotely interested in was Loveless but that's because the art is absolutely gorgeous... But I had to give up on it. 

"But Rainey," you might say, "There's plenty of boylove available online!" 

Yeah, I know. But it's mostly hardcore porn, which...looks weird animated (it's hard to animate that kinda stuff, I get it, it's like sex scenes in video games. You're trying not to laugh but...you can't just easily animate that stuff.).

If you know of boylove that's less aggression and more romantic, that would be stupendous. 

Send me a message, hit me up on Twitter, leave a comment, whatever.

I'm tired of getting my hopes up.

Thanks for listening. :(