I read My Brother's Husband

After I did my review of My Lesbian Experience with Loneliness, people asked me if I was planning on reading My Brother's Husband. Little did they know I had already ordered it and was waiting impatiently for it.

Warned to have tissues handy, I prepared myself for a wild ride.

I have to say that after reading My Lesbian Experience, My Brother's Husband was tame in comparison. I got teary, but never wept.

I was thankful for this, in the end.

My Brother's Husband is about a family whose lives are turned upside down when Yaichi and his daughter Kana are introduced to a large Canadian man named Mike who shows up at their door in Japan one day claiming to be Yaichi's twin brother's husband.

Ryoji, Yaichi's twin, has passed away recently, and Mike has no family other than his brother in law and his niece.

So, the family tries to get to know each other.

What results is a charming and painful look at cultural differences and their views on homophobia and how it is handled, both by the locals, and by Yaichi himself, coming to terms with the idea of his brother being gay, and how much Mike really loved Ryoji.

I was surprised, honestly, to read such a family friendly comic by artist Gengoroh Tagame, who usually does books like this. It was refreshing, and Kana, the daughter, was a delight, explaining simple things to her father with the innocence of a child. Why do these men kiss each other? Because they're in love. It's simple.

The volume that I purchased contains volumes 1 and 2 of the manga, and it came out in May 2017. I've scoured the internet wondering when the second half will be out, but I can't find any information regarding that.

Still, I will keep my eyes open for it, because the volume I read was an absolute delight. Check it out if you get the chance!

My Lesbian Experience with Loneliness - A Review

My Lesbian Experience with Loneliness - by Nagata Kabi

Content Warning: Talk of depression and anxiety. This book is quite real in its descriptions of feelings and can and likely will be triggering for certain individuals.

Where do I even start?

I’ve heard about this charming manga for a while now; people have been talking about it on Twitter, passing word around in local comic scenes. I checked my local comic show and unfortunately the author wasn’t there that time. She went to TCAF, but not VanCaf! That’s alright.

So recently I did some adulting and rewarded myself by ordering this book, as well as My Brother’s Husband, which has yet to arrive in the mail.

Reading comics late at night when you have to work the next morning always seems like a good idea, don’t you think?

I’m glad I read it. It’s after 2am and I’m going to be so tired tomorrow, but I’m still so glad I read it.

Nagata writes in such a charming way, and yet is so real it hurts. I cried from the moment I opened the book to the moment I closed it. I am a very soft person, it’s true, but each page had something different that struck me.

Her anxiety and depression, her feeling like she didn’t deserve to eat, or didn’t deserve good things, and was constantly striving to please her parents - I get that. We as young(ish) people (I’m 31) are taught from our youth to live life a certain way, and expectations are heaped on our heads. I know that there are culture gaps in what I’m about to say, so I’ll just say what I know from my own experience in Western Canadian culture. It is expected of you to pass high school with good grades, go to post secondary and get a job in your field that pays well and supports you. You can move out and meet someone and get married and have two and a half children and a white picket fence, etc, etc. Right? Wrong.

Since Millennials seem to be killing everything these days, including the (North) American Dream, that’s not how things have been. It’s certainly not how my life has been. I related to this story in a lot of ways in that Nagata helped me feel like she was not only talking about herself, but also about so many people I know in my life who struggle with anxiety and depression.

I recognized things she said about feeling like she wasn’t good enough, didn’t deserve to eat, couldn’t try anymore, as things I’ve heard from close friends of mine.

Adults expect from us to be ‘salaried employees’, to have health insurance, to not need assistance, when the truth is - we can’t do this on our own. We need these human interactions, these relationships to function as normal human beings.

Reading Nagata’s desperate desire for human contact, in the form of hugs from an older woman to make up for affection she didn’t get from her mother, was eye-opening. There is so much that we as a society, Western or Eastern, any society, really, don’t talk about. We should be able to ask for affection if we need it. We should talk about it.

I’m pleased that Nagata did.

In regards to the whole scenario of her hiring an escort for her first time and then being completely confused because she didn’t understand her own body? I get that too. This book was incredibly real, and I found myself crying because I was so happy that Nagata’s first experience in a sexual situation was a pleasant one.

I felt her embarrassment, but also her confusion. Her writing and art were so perfectly, naturally, charmingly displayed, even while talking about how much easier death would have been.

Halfway through the book, I was overwhelmed and had to put it down to message a friend who struggles with depression and anxiety to tell her how much I love her and appreciate how hard she’s working to get out of bed every day. I understand her a little better, and probably a little bit about myself, too.

If you buy it to read it because there’s a nipple on the cover, you might find it’s not at all the kind of story you’re expecting. It’s not that kind of book at all. But you might be glad you read it anyway. I recommend it wholeheartedly.

Thank you, Nagata Kabi, for writing this charming, yet heart-wrenching book, and showing us a real slice of what it’s like to live with depression. Time to go dry my tears.

I Want to be Like Tohru Honda

Recently I reread all of the series Fruits Basket, and it made me realize a few things.

First, I'm an emotional weepy mess of tears and shouldn't read it in public, and second, we have a lot to learn from Tohru and how she treats people.

Her life has not been easy. She lost her dad when she was young, and talks like him (very formal and polite) as not to lose his memory, and to keep her mom in high spirits. She loses her mom while she's about to start high school, and it shapes the entire story.

Still, despite her grief, she faces the day with a smile and works harder than everyone to make sure her friends are smiling. When she cries it's for other people, and never for herself.

She gives 110% to make sure everyone is happy, even if she works herself sick.

The story is a lot deeper than that, but I want everyone to enjoy the story fully for what it is, and I encourage everyone to read it. 

There's a subtlety in how Takaya ages the characters, and it's beautifully drawn. Watching all of the characters grow and evolve together was one of the greatest treats of the entire series.

We can learn a lot from people like Tohru Honda, who takes adversity and shows it what's what, facing it with a smile and hard work.

Who doesn't want to be like that?

I know I have a lot of work to do to get there.

Let's help each other.

*whispers* Dear Japan, please stop teaching your women that they are ‘impure’ for wanting to hold hands with their boyfriends.

Don’t get me wrong, I absolutely adore “My Love Story/Ore Monogatari”, a new anime that’s come out in the last month. It’s not your typical story, with a young pretty girl falling for the big gorilla type character Takeo.

But in one of the newest episodes, Yamato expresses that she is not as ‘good’ as Takeo thought she was, saying she was impure for wanting to ‘hold hands and snuggle and stuff.’

Are we just super free with our affections here in North America? Is this a culture thing? How is it ‘impure’ to hold hands with someone you’re dating?

Please, if you have some info for me, let me know in the comments. I’m very interested.

In the meantime I will definitely continue to watch My Love Story because it makes my girlfriend and I squeal with joy at how cute it is.

Until next time...

We Need to Talk About Love Stage

Disclaimer: I talk about rape here, so if you're triggered by it, it might be a good idea to skip this post. Sorry!

This is a touchy subject.

I don't know why I'm writing it so soon when I said this would be a video game blog but this just doesn't sit well with me.

I just finished an anime called Love Stage! this afternoon and to be honest, I'm surprised I did. The general themes pulled me in because let's face it - I love boy love. I adore it.

It's my thing.

I have a paid account on Crunchyroll and I know that the boylove available to me isn't a very big list. People awhile ago started telling me about Love Stage, so I thought I'd check it out.

I watched the first one, and it was very sweet. 

These two cuties are Ryouma (left) and Izumi (right), the stars of the show. When they were kids they were cast in a tv wedding commercial and then didn't see each other after that for ten years. During those ten years, Ryouma has been pining something serious for Izumi, thinking he was a girl because young Izumi played one, and it wasn't exactly necessary to discuss the sex of the children, also there's the whole lack of masculine/feminine pronouns in Japanese language, so it was unnecessary. 

Ten years later and Ryouma is a TV star, well known, etc, etc. Izumi is an eighteen year old otaku student who spends his free time at the manga club and working on his own manga because he dreams of one day becoming a great manga artist like the artist of his favorite series.

The wedding company who Ryouma and Izumi did a commercial for wants to do a follow up commercial for the ten year anniversary, but only on the condition that they get the same actors who played the kids from back then because now it's 'their happy wedding'. 

Ryouma's in, obviously, and Izumi reluctantly agrees, not realizing what he's getting himself into.

They shoot the commercial, Ryouma doesn't know Izumi's male, finds out a little later and has a crisis. Also, calls Izumi a 'cross-dressing freak'. Hmm.


It takes Ryouma a few days to calm down, and then before we know it, he's at Izumi's house to 'once and for all' get it out of his head that he's in love with Izumi because he can't love a boy, why would he love a boy? He demands that Izumi take off his clothes to 'prove' he's a boy, and then forces himself on Izumi.

You know what Izumi does? He cries. He cries and says 'stop' and 'no'. You know what happens? Ryouma KEEPS GOING.

Hi friends, let's talk about rape culture. Let's talk about consent.

Oh wait, let's not because we don't do that, this is anime where consent doesn't matter because they're animated? That's not how the real world works, people. Consent matters no matter where you are, in video games, in anime, in REAL LIFE because people need to be shown that this is how it's supposed to be. Anything other than an enthusiastic yes is rape, is unwanted. 

Anime needs to stop perpetuating the idea that because he's weepy and submissive looking means that he's just shy, but he still wants it. NO.

NO NO NO

Let me tell you what happens next. 

Izumi's amazing older brother happens to be in the right place at the right time and pushes Ryouma off of him, threatening him. 

Shougo is gayer than Christmas. He's a pop star idol, has loads of fans, and is super protective of his little brother because 'he's just so cute!' Shougo is a light in the darkness. He cares about Izumi, who his friends are, if they're good to him.

He knows Ryouma is up to no good. He tells Ryouma to get lost.




Ryouma leaves, Izumi stays in bed for two days, ashamed, crying, victimized. He convinces himself not to talk about it because it's not a big deal. 





In one of the only redeeming scenes of this entire show, Ryouma pursues Izumi if only to apologize for his horrible behavior. He then publicly bows low on the ground, his face in the dirt, as he asks for forgiveness for his actions.

Izumi reluctantly forgives him, and then they shake hands and agree to be friends. 

Ryouma turns a new leaf and starts behaving like a better person. He helps Izumi with his manga project, texts him casual things, friendly things. Izumi starts to trust him again, and it's genuinely good. I am pleased. 

Then Izumi gets some bad news and goes crying to Ryouma for comfort. Ryouma tells him to take a bath, and then makes him some food and washes his clothes for him and leaves him some pajamas to change into when Izumi decides he need to stay at Ryouma's place for a few days to cool down.

In what I can only describe as garbage, Ryouma pushes Izumi down onto the bed and demands that Izumi tell him how he feels because if he's gonna stay over for a few days, Ryouma can't be expected to behave himself for that long without touching him.


I raised my hopes for nothing.

Izumi concedes defeat, claiming "Fine. Do whatever you want to me. I don't care anymore."

His eyes are dead. His voice is monotone. 

If Ryouma cared about this kid at all he'd pay attention to this and not think with his dick, but NO. He carries on doing whatever he wants, and is like...stripping Izumi down when he finally realizes Izumi is crying again.

Again with consent. If Ryouma cared about consent at all, he'd stop and be like "Woah, hey this isn't you."

Shougo isn't there to save Izumi that time. It's all on Ryouma. Thankfully he stops himself.

More apologies, Izumi kind of...hermits himself away for awhile, wondering about if he's really attracted to Ryouma, and what he should do about it. He even asks his manager, Rei, for advice.

Spoiler alert: Rei is sort of involved with Shougo, which is THE ONLY THING I'M 10000000% OKAY WITH.

 Rei gives Izumi some sound advice, knowing that the kid's curious, and lets him figure the rest out for himself.

Huge plot points later (not really, it's a 10 episode series) and Izumi finds himself in an alleyway, accosted by three men who have him trapped. All three of them have threatened him with some form of sexual assault. When he resists, they find it 'cute' and it makes them want him more (?????). 

Izumi finds himself thinking about Ryouma during this scenario, and gains the strength to fight off his attackers and manages to escape Rape Attempt #3. 

His reasoning? The only man he wants touching him is Ryouma.

So he runs to Ryouma, throws himself into Ryouma's arms and demands that they 'do it'. 

He realizes after they have sex (because they do, and it appears they weren't even properly prepared for it because hey, classic gags on how much pain Izumi is in later lawl) that he didn't even confess back to Ryouma, he'd just greeted him with "I want you", and Ryouma ran with it.

So they exchange their I love you's and what have you, which you know, would be nice. If Izumi hadn't just been assaulted in an alleyway.

That's it, that's the show.

To be honest, all I want out of a boy love anime is something simple. Boy meets boy. Boy falls in love with boy. They pursue each other. They kiss. They build up to the relationship. 

You know what anime gives me? A pushy, aggressive rapefest that I'm not in any way okay with. 

As explained on the Wikipedia Yaoi article, "Rape scenes in yaoi are rarely presented as crimes with an assaulter and a victim: scenes where a seme rapes an uke are not depicted as symptomatic of the seme's "disruptive sexual/violent desires", but instead are a signifier of the "uncontrollable love" felt by a seme for an uke." 

I watched all of Love Stage! hoping it would get better, hoping that Izumi (while he did tell Ryouma to get lost after the first incident) would tell Ryouma to either leave him alone, or to slow down, or to respect him, though to be fair no one should ever have to demand to be respected.

It should be common courtesy.

Love Stage! was a disaster when I wanted so much more from it. I'm told I have too much faith in anime. I suppose the people who tell me so are right.

Let's look at some examples of mainstream boylove.

• Gravitation
• Junjou Romantica ("Did we have sex last night? I don't remember.")
• Sekaiichi Hatsukoi
• Loveless (Also known as 'let's pretend Ritsuka isn't twelve years old')
• Drammatical Murder (Don't get me started)

These exhaust me. I've seen/watched/read them all, and the only one that I was remotely interested in was Loveless but that's because the art is absolutely gorgeous... But I had to give up on it. 

"But Rainey," you might say, "There's plenty of boylove available online!" 

Yeah, I know. But it's mostly hardcore porn, which...looks weird animated (it's hard to animate that kinda stuff, I get it, it's like sex scenes in video games. You're trying not to laugh but...you can't just easily animate that stuff.).

If you know of boylove that's less aggression and more romantic, that would be stupendous. 

Send me a message, hit me up on Twitter, leave a comment, whatever.

I'm tired of getting my hopes up.

Thanks for listening. :(